Dairy of a Bad, Bad Housewife--Entry 0001

Our house is a mess but I’m too busy searching for the end of the Internet to clean. There are socks in every room of the house, clean and dirty, and I don’t feel like sorting by smell so I’ll have to wash them all again. The kids knocked over the coffee table a couple of days ago. I righted the coffee table but its holdings are still scattered on the floor.

I did pick up all the dishes and put them near the dishwasher. There are clothes everywhere except the kitchen and even that I’m not so sure about since I’m afraid to open the refrigerator. Toothpaste spit is dried in the kids’ bathroom sink and I’ll probably need a scrubbing pad to remove it.

I need to clean before burglars come and rob us. I’m not sure I could tell if they did. I’d have to lie and tell the police that the robbers ransacked the place. “Clearly, officers, they were specifically looking for clean towels.”